Love Someone as They Are: The Greatest Gift We Can Give
There is a quiet kind of magic in learning to love someone as they are, and I believe it may be one of the greatest gifts we will ever give another human being.
Sweet friend, I want you to picture someone you love dearly. Maybe it’s your husband, your daughter, your best friend, or that stubborn family member who has been on your heart for years. Now let me ask you a gentle question: when was the last time you simply let them be exactly who they are, without a single thought of how they could be fixed, changed, or improved?
It’s a tender question, I know. But I believe it may be the doorway to some of the deepest peace you will ever feel.
What It Means to Love Someone as They Are
To love someone as they are means setting down the quiet list we all carry in our hearts. You know the one. If only she would slow down. If only he would open up. If only they would see things the way I do.
Most of the time, that list comes from love. We want the very best for the people we care about. But somewhere along the way, wanting the best for someone can slip into believing they aren’t quite enough yet.
Loving someone as they are says something completely different. It says, “You are welcome here. You don’t have to earn my gladness. I’m simply glad you exist.” Can you imagine how it would feel to be on the receiving end of that? I think every one of us longs for it, deep down. We want to be seen, accepted, and cherished, not as a work in progress, but as a person.
Why It’s So Hard to Love Someone as They Are
Let’s be honest with each other, sweet friend. It’s not always easy.
When we love someone, we see their potential. We also see their struggles, and our hearts ache for them. We think that if we can just nudge, advise, or gently correct, we can spare them some pain. Sometimes we’re afraid for them. And if I’m truthful, sometimes it’s because their choices simply make us uncomfortable.
But here is what I have come to believe: fixing is not the same as loving. When we try to fix someone, they often feel like a project instead of a person. When we simply love them, they feel safe, and safe hearts are the ones that grow. Change that comes from pressure rarely lasts, but change that blooms inside a heart that feels loved is beautiful, gentle, and real.
And please hear this too. Some of the people who most need to be loved as they are might be sitting quietly in your own mirror. You have probably been trying to fix yourself for years. You can lay that down today, because God has never asked you to be anyone but you.
How God Shows Us How to Love Someone as They Are
If you ever wonder how to do this, we only have to look at how we have been loved. Scripture tells us, <a href=”https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+15%3A7&version=KJV” target=”_blank” rel=”dofollow”>“Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7)</a>
Think about that for a moment. Christ received you. Not the polished version, not the “someday when I have it all together” version, but the real you, with your doubts, your messy days, and your tender places. He didn’t wait for you to be perfect before He loved you.
And the verse in <a href=”https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+4%3A19&version=KJV” target=”_blank” rel=”dofollow”>1 John 4:19</a> reminds us, “We love him, because he first loved us.” Our ability to love others freely begins with knowing how freely we have been loved. When you let that sink into your heart, giving the same grace to someone else becomes so much more natural.
You were <a href=”https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139%3A14&version=KJV” target=”_blank” rel=”dofollow”>“fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14)</a>, and so was every person you love.
5 Simple Ways to Love Someone as They Are This Week
If your heart is nodding along, here are a few small, doable ways to begin:
- Listen without fixing. The next time someone shares a struggle, resist the urge to solve it. Sometimes the kindest thing you can say is, “That sounds hard. I’m here.”
- Celebrate who they are. Notice the things that make them wonderfully them, the laugh, the quirks, the way they see the world, and tell them you love it.
- Lay down the “if only” list. Each time a critical thought pops up, gently let it go and replace it with something you’re grateful for about that person.
- Be glad out loud. Tell someone, “I’m so glad you’re in my life.” Those words are small, but they can carry a heart for days.
- Pray instead of pushing. Place that person in God’s hands. He loves them more than you ever could, and He is far better at changing hearts than we are.
None of these require money, a perfect plan, or a grand gesture. They simply ask for a soft heart and a little patience, and those are things you already have.
A Prayer to Love Someone as They Are
Dear Lord, thank You for loving me exactly as I am. Help me to pass that love on. Soften my heart when I want to fix, and teach me to simply be glad for the people You have placed in my life. Show me where I need to let go, where I need to listen, and where I need to give the same grace You have so freely given me. Help me to see each person the way You see them. Amen. 🙏
One Last Thought, Sweet Friend
Life is such a gift, and so are the people in it. Not one of us is perfect, yet every one of us is deeply loved. When we let others be exactly who they are, we create a little corner of heaven right here on earth, a place where hearts can rest, breathe, and bloom.
So who is the one person in your life you want to love “just as they are” today? I would love to hear about them in the comments below. Let’s lift them up together. 💜
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With love and faith,
Marilyn